You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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