he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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