Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just found a bag of teeth...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
