I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
