While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
