Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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