like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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