Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
