at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Someone came in the potted fern
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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