Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
