everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize