The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
