did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
