Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize