Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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