I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
honey bunches of taint.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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