You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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