I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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