Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
