he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Couch. On fire.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize