Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
