is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
