Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
