how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
