My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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