it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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