just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
