Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
