did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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