Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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