I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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