i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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