oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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