I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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