I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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