What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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