i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
