Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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