You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sober January is a disaster.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
