I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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