Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize