I wish I could teleport
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
