I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Farmville is her only friend.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
