david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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