It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
