I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
