Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize