Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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