Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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