someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
