what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
