the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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