i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
