is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
All the doctor said was why
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
