Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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