Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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