I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
