Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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