I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
it's great music for shaving your balls
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
