I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
