So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
this beer tastes like vomit already
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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