I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
