Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
