woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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