At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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