hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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