I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do vagina's smell?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize