There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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