Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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