Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
