There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize